Ever have that feeling that the universe has you in its sights and is ready to squeeze the trigger?

It does, and it is!

(On the plus side, instead of killing us, it might turn us green and give us super-strength.)

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FBI wiretap cut off for unpaid bill

This is just like that time the CIA had to stop using waterboard torture because someone forgot to pay the water utility...

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Mystery Underwear Stymies Guantanamo Investigators

I bet it turns out the illicit undergarments were brought in by the same guys who bring in the waterboard and the car battery with the testicle clamps. 'Cause I'm sure none of the guys there thought they'd need a change of undies.

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Weekly World News to cease publication.

Yeah, I know, the WWN will continue online, but... damn.

I bet the alien telemarketers are behind this.

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Bible drawn into sex publication controversy.

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If you are a dedicated go-getter with a proven track record of attendance, the White House has an exciting new career in war management for you! We are looking for a dynamic, self-starting, Saved individual with extensive wartime experience (time spent playing "Risk" will be favorably considered) and a willingness to manage war activities in accordance with accepted White House foreign policy source material (see King James Bible: Book of Revelations). Benefits include four weeks of paid vacation per year, 401(k), Halliburton stock options, and an advance reservation to be included in the Rapture. Uniform and Bible (as censored to conform to National Security Directives) included; applicant must provide own shovel and hip waders. Interested parties should send resume, cover letter, 3x5 photo, DNA profile, and list of Secret Society memberships to K. Rove in Human Resources. Deadline for application has been indefinitely extended.

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If you're in this prison in El Salvador, just pull the pin for permanent relief.

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I would like to take this opportunity to do something I have never done before: congratulate our War Time Commander-in-Chief, George W. Bush, for his outstanding work in fighting the outsourcing of more American labor overseas. Thanks to his diligent efforts, we no longer have to outsource the torture of uncharged suspects in the War on Some Terror (tm) -- we can keep these detainees in the United States, where we can give these torture jobs to fully-qualified American torture experts.

No longer must we rely on cheap foreign torturers with their cut rate blowtorches and creepy knife-like things... when we put out the order that some guy we imprisoned based on faulty intelligence is going to get his nuts hooked up to a car battery unless he confesses to whatever bizarre stuff we dreamed up for him to confess to, we can take pride in the fact that it is American hands hooking him up to a quality American product! And it is our illustrious President Bush who we have to thank for finally stemming the flow of jobs overseas with this legislation he is so looking forward to signing.

Now I'm just waiting for Sally Struthers to offer a course in how to learn how to torture the shit out of people in the privacy of my own home. Because I'm all about the job security, man.

I was away at a science fiction convention over the weekend, and I resolutely did not tune in to the news during that time, so I did not find out about the earthquake in Pakistan until today.

I read about it, and I feel the numbness creeping in. I'll contribute to the International Red Cross, of course, but I still feel numb. I wonder what will be next. I wonder where. I think about the threat of the avian flu mutating and becoming a pandemic, and how utterly unprepared we are to deal with it.

Some days, I can just feel the wheels coming off the world.

Just following up my entry from a couple days ago, it looks like Rita's just been downgraded to Category 3. It still ain't gonna be pretty, but it also hopefully won't be as bad as Katrina. We'll be keeping various appendages crossed over the weekend.

Hurricane Rita upgraded to Category Five.

Welcome to Global Warming Reality. Here's your wet t-shirt.

... wasn't FEMA supposed to be the Shadow Government that was going to take over the country after some kind of national emergency destroyed the Federal Government?

If that's so, then it's time to worry, because these guys couldn't Shadow Govern a puppet show if their lives depended on it.

So. It's been a while. I've been good, as things go. Busy and such. And I know I ought to do a life update sort of post soon, but for now...

I think I'm at the point a lot of others are at right now. While the news from New Orleans and the surrounding area in the wake of Hurricane Katarina is still depressing, the numbness it engendered is lifting. In its wake comes the anger, most of it squarely directed at the pathetic Federal Government response and the part that President Bush's criminally inept and negligent administration played in making the disaster worse.

If you're reading this, you've probably already read Eric's essay over on Websnark. It says a lot of things that can't be stressed enough, and if by some chance you haven't read it, I commend it to your attention.

Also worthy of attention is today's message from Michael Moore. While he promises to get into the graphic detail of how much Bush is to blame for exacerbating this situation throughout his disgraceful Presidential tenure, today he's talking about how to make a practical difference now in the relief effort. And that is by donating to Veterans for Peace.

You know, Cindy Sheehan's bunch. They've set up camp in Covington, Louisiana, and are accepting donations of materials and are directly distributing them. Their web site details the things that are in greatest need right now and where to send them. It's also possible to make a monetary donation through PayPal, which will in turn be used to purchase some of said supplies from Louisiana stores. I'm going to be doing both.

(And no, I'm not dissing the Red Cross. They're doing a hell of a job. I've kicked them some funds, and I'll be giving some blood tomorrow (the blood stays local, but it's still needed. It always is). VFP is just another way to get the things that are needed most through.)